Man SIAM , as always, awesome post!!!
As Elders and Servants most of us worked our tails off, at meetings, conventions, quick builds, service etc. Despite this, no matter how hard we tried and worked we were told that we needed to do a better job. Gratitude was rarely expressed. Many of us became burned out and disillusioned with the organization. We saw the corruption, simony and hypocrisy, the changing doctrinal positions and decided that we could no longer teach something that was not true. So we did research like any student is taught to do, we analyzed history and doctrine and came to the conclusion that it was wrong. Then…
My COBOE once told me that some days he'd like to simply find someplace in the middle of nowhere so that he could just scream and yell to release the tension and anxiety within him, which is a direct result of his position. You're right too SIAM, meetings, field service, special campaigns, parts, talks, elder meetings, meetings about meetings, ARRHGHGHHAH. It's enough to drive you nuts some days. Check this out, my celly has been ringin and vibrating like crazy lately to the point you would think I'm a celebrity, and you wanna know why I'm getting all these phone calls all of a sudden? Even if you don't, I'll tell you! It's other brothers courting me because they want me to assist them with their privileges at the upcoming circuit assemblies and district conventions. Each call starts off the same too like, "Hey Brother Whore, I was just ummm wondering, if you're not busy during the upcoming convention, would you like to help me in the hemorrhoids department?" SMH
Our training helped us to realize that it was all a lie and then try to lead our families out. We were burned out teachers that knew how to research, were skeptical, critical, and determined to do what was right. That is why we left the organization. Watchtower, you trained us well.
Had I remained a Ministerial Servant, I'm not entirely sure I would have ended up on this message board or FreeMinds, or even know that Ray Franz was different than Fred Franz, and 1975 along with the purge in the early 80's would have been a JW Urban Legend to me. Second I got appointed I felt the need to step my study game up, and THAT's when the internal conflict began. The same way the WT taught us how to completely demonize other organized religions and belief systems, we've been able to apply the same criteria towards the WT. It's like they created a monster that they're having trouble controlling.
So why do some wives stay in this false organization? It is because they have been trained also. They have been trained to never question, and to humbly submit to the headship arrangement. They accompanied us in service and study, always at our lead, rarely with anything to offer in the family studies. They always looked to a man to provide direction and answers for them. They had no mechanism within or even a voice to question what they were taught. Their single job as a witness wife was to support their man, who in turn had to support the organization, who in turn was supposed to be supporting the Christ.
I'm single, but what you posted here about wives can apply largely to women in general within the organization regardless if they're single or married. The one thing that I will always find attractive about nonJW women is how they're more opinionated and ambitious than JW women. God I can't tell you how much I love an intelligent woman who can school me and who doesn't have a problem recognizing when someone is attempting to pull the wool over her eyes and calling them out on it. I love that!!!!!! The women in the KH however, too many are like stepford wives or something and that goes for both the single or the married ones. Man, there was this one pioneer who had a love/hate relationship with me prior to me getting appointed. When I got appointed, she was serving where the need is great. When she came back, and got wind of me being an el-duh, everything changed. Granted, she won't call me lord, but she'd definately think about it longer than what should be called normal before saying no.